I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
