either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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