part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
