you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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