he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
