where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
