I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
