Do you still have your period?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
