Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
