OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
