it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize