Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
