The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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