i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
