I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
