Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
they're like a gay fantastic four
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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