Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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