the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
