I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
