Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
