I puked a lego.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
