I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
