did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
