He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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