he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Couch. On fire.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
