I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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