I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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