it was like eating out sand paper
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
