I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
