I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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