So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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