There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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