Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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