i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
