I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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