what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
