shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
