I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
