So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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