What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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