i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
