Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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