I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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