you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
