My brain says no but my pants say off.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
