Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
