i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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