mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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