Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm bleeding and have questions
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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