You're so nebulous sometimes
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
