It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
