Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
