i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
