Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
