I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
