So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
