A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
