i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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