Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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