just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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